> Out of curiosity you walk back along the corridor to the front door & step outside. It takes a few minutes for your eyes to focus before you look around and see that you & the Mansion are indeed taller than the trees.
> Call for Captain Dirk to come outside. When he appears you ask him to watch your perspective. You walk a few yards away from him, turn, look at Dirk, & then return. "Well neither of us seem to be suffering from SPR but Mia by curing Beambar has somehow inflicted us & the Mansion with a Particle Quasi Quantum Distortion disorder". "Aah, yes!" says Dirk "we've come across that before on one of our missions, my Logic Officer Sock could help but I had to trade my communicator for the leotards." Dirk thinks for a minute "..but wait a minute, the Mystic Trails I've been leaving, the crew must be able to see & hear me." Dirk looks up at the sky & starts shouting "O'Hairy, yoohoo O'HAIREEEEEEY".

CUT SCENE:
Back on the Starship Bentbutflise, Sock is pacing up & down on the bridge getting more & more agitated. "O'Hairy, the asteroid storm has passed now, have you registered me on GameBoomers yet?" "No Sir" she replies "no can do Sir, membership is only available to applicants residing within 12,000 miles of the 2D latitudinal & longitudinal plane perimeters & 4 miles of the 3D nadir & zenith vertex." Sock is now on the verge of a tantrum "well, find me another posters post to intercept" "Is that fair Sir?" says "O'Hairy "After all, they spend every waking hour they have, & somtimes lose sleep, to try & further the plot only to suffer the indignity of deletion, improvisation & more recently compensation when another poster gets there first Sir. "I DON'T CARE!" Sock shouts "I've given you an order DO IT!" "Can't Sir" says O'Hairy "since the last time you did that GameBoomers has installed a PIB programme Sir, it's a Post Interception Blocker Sir". Before Sock starts to really lose it O'Hairy quickly browses the Outernet for a downloadable AG. She finds some on Galaxy Games & quickly downloads Inkh, an old school comic adventure set in Peru. She starts the game on one of the other monitors. "Sir, look what I've found for you" Sock looks & immediately calms down & beams from ear to ear. "Well done Lieutenant, make sure I'm not disturbed for the..... "Sir, before you start playing, the Captain needs our help" O'Hairy rewinds back to where Mia is wielding the crowbar & emerald & replays up to where he sees Dirk yelling up. "Interesting" says Sock "It appears that they indeed are are suffering from PQQD disorder. The girl's spell should have worked...mmm it can only be that the emerald is one of a pair which if not used with the other can be corrupt. I see the troupe have a tripod & magnifying glass in their inventory, try & convey this message to them" Sock hands a note to O'Hairy & then says gleefully, "Please don't disturb me for the next few hours" He sits down in front of the monitor & starts to play Inkh.
END OF CUT SCENE

Back on 'earth' a hologram of Lieutenant O'Hairy appears in front of you & starts to speak "Officer Sock says that the girl can cure you, you need to give her the tripod & magnifying glass & ..........." The hologram fades. Another asteroid storm in space has interrupted the transmission. "I think that's enough information" says Dirk. You both join the others in the Mansion.
>

[ Loading ]


Back at the mansion.

"Mia, is there anything you can do to get us out of this awkward situation?"
Mia frowns her head and, after a lot of thinking, she answers the only thing to do is going back to the moment before she used the spell.

You don't have a saved game and you don't want to replay a large part!

>open PDA

You take your PDA and switch it on. A flashing sign tells you the battery is almost exhausted. Slapping your head, you wonder why you did forget to take the power adaptor with you!
Going back to the last point you have saved? No way!

>talk to Mia again

"Isn't there anything you can do, PLEASE?"
Mia goes to her brother and sister, they have a long conversation, finally she comes back. "There's only one option, the three of us can move you back in time a bit. Do you want that?"

>YES!!!

She goes back to her siblings and the three of them join hands, a whirl of light appears. There's a gust of air and ......

.... You're in front of the mansion, Mia is waving the little crowbar at Nero ....

>stop it right now!

Everyone is looking at you. "Isn't there any other way to cure him you ask Mia.
"There is another way, but it isn't that simple. You need special herbs for that and those are illegal in most of this world! However I heard about a city where they could be obtained. I don't know the name, but rumour has it, there are many canals and the lights there are all red."

>go there

For crying out loud! Didn't you notice there's nothing THAT easy in this game, you stupid....

>talk to Dirk

"Any idea how we can get there Dirk"
Dirk takes out an electric shaver out of his pocket and talks to it. "Humble One, any possibility to move us to a red spot on the map?"
"Positive Kept'm, we see a red glow and we are able to move you there."

Before you can ask any questions you're in a street aside a canal. Dirk walks away and enters a shop called "The Unmentionable Undergarment & Utilities Store", hoping to find some inspiration for the new uniforms.

>look around

There's a small establishment to the north, clouds of smoke surround it.

Dirk comes out of the shop, carrying a little shopping bag. He phones home again "Spotty, you can beam me up now, I have new uniforms for the entire crew!" There's a weird sound and Dirk slowly disappears.

{Interruption from the real world}

"This is Channel 8, all next episodes of the series "Star Slackers" have been cancelled due to their explicit nature!"

{End of interruption}

[ Loading ]


Bernard

REM GameBoomers new PIB programme has a lot to answer for, it's not only snuck a PDA & an electric razor into the inventory, but caused chrissie & Bernard between them to reveal the two different paths in this very non-linear game. There must be a glitch in the programme!

REM

I know it will be almost impossible to write a walkthrough for this game. I heard it through the grapevine, someone is writing a strategy guide!

Remark ended


Bernard

REM Hi Bernard I have it on good authority that the author's name is Marvin Gaye & he's retreated to an isolated cottage with strict orders that he is not to be disturbed before 2013. I thought I was done for today but sorry!, needs must! ...... Remark Ended

>
CUT SCENE:
Back on the Bentbutflise Lieutenant O'Hairy is gently shaking Officer Sock who has fallen asleep & is slumped on the desk in front of his games monitor. "Sir, sir, are you alright sir?" Sock gradually comes to & tentively opens one eye. He is relieved to see that his crew are still attired in their old uniforms. "Is the Captain here" he asks. "No" says O'Hairy a little puzzled "you know he's not, why do you ask?". Sock now opens his other eye. "I had the most awful dream, Mia & her siblings reversed time back to before Beambar was cured, the Captain all of a sudden had a PDA & then talked to an electric razor before ending up in this dreadful place full of canals & red lights where the air was thick with the smell of illegal herbs." "Sounds like Amsterdam Sir" O'Hairy interjects, secretly looking forward to her planned vacation there in a few months time. "Even worse" Sock continues "he acquired us some unmentionable um...uniforms & our TV series was taken off the air" "Ooh, what were they like" Navigator Tickov asks. "Never mind!" says Sock. "What's happening down on 'earth'?." The crew turn to the large screen to watch.
END OF CUT SCENE

Dirk & yourself are now back in the library & you explain about the PQQD disorder to Mia & that Officer Sock thinks she can help.
> Give Mia the tripod & magnifying glass. Her face lights up "I think I know what to do but I need a small mirror" Reach into the handbag & pull out the silver compact. Yuck! it's slimy & covered in butter which is now rancid.
> Open the compact to reveal the mirror & give to Mia.
>

Mia takes a look at the mirror covered in butter, a big smile is curling her lips. "Oh, that's beautiful, I always admired those soft focus photographs! I need a clean mirror though." She gives the mirror back to you.

>go outside, use magnifying glass with mirror

The rays of the sun, focussed by the magnifying glass, melt the butter and it's dripping off. Unfortunately you didn't consider the mirror reflecting the light. The Transportation Tree is on fire! How will you get back to the Whizzer??
First things first, you re-enter the mansion and give the mirror to Mia, she starts to be very charming..... She finishes the charms and everything is back in perspective!
Your task is done, now a way to get back to the whizzer has to be found...!

>


Bernard

REM Hi Bernard Nice to see you back! END REM

REM

Hi chrissie, I know it took some time but please don't blame it on me, blame it on the weather over here!
It feels like it's the middle of summer.



End of remark


Bernard

REM Weather has been lovely here too & my job involves organising 'activities in the community'. So although I've been at work I've been out in the sunshine for the last two days & even better - I get paid for it! END REM

REM And here I thought there was just a case of contagious writer's block going around.

> Ask companions for ideas

You gather the rest of your band and start polling for ideas. Surprisingly, Cassie speaks up first.

"Well, this should be pretty easy, really," she starts brightly. "You said you got a pair of silver slippers from a Grue before, right? Just click put those on, click your heels together, and--"

"HAD a pair of silver slippers," you interject. "The Whizzer confiscated them along with most of the rest of our inventory."

"WHAT?!" shouts Maleficus, inexplicably furious. "You GAVE him the silver slippers? I told you Mia, I TOLD you we couldn't trust adults with this sort of thing."

Mia shakes her head sadly. "Enough, Mal. What's done is done."

"This does not compute," says Oscar. "I thought you three were the Whizzer's serv--"

He's cut off suddenly as an invisible force lifts him off his feet and slams him backwards into the wall. Standing in front of him is Mal, shaking from head to toe in rage.

"We are no one's servants!" He shouts.

Cassie walks up behind him and puts her hand on his shoulder. She speaks quietly but sternly.

"Let him go, Mal." Mal slumps slightly, and in response Oscar drops slowly to the floor, landing awkwardly but mostly unharmed. Cassie raises one hand before anyone can speak, and looks inquiringly at Oscar.

"I would like to know where you heard that, though." Before Oscar can respond, Michael interrupts.

"He wasn't the only one who suspected it, you know. There have been rumors lately. Three children with strange powers, doing the Whizzer's dirty work...I still don't quite believe it's you, though."

Something doesn't make sense here. "If you work for the Whizzer," you ask, "why are you so worried about the slippers?"

Mia shakes her head again. "You don't understand. If the Whizzer has the silver slippers....that's very bad. Really, really bad." She pauses for a moment before going on. "We...have to do what the Whizzer says. Exactly what he says. But he's been less careful lately with his phrasing, and we've...found certain loopholes."

Cassie continues for her. "He ordered us to help you on your quest, but he never specified what your quest was. You were sent to eliminate Nero, but when your quest changed on the way, we were able to help him instead. But if the Whizzer learns how to use the slippers..."

"What now," you ask. "Do we try get the slippers back?"

"No," says Cassie. "His protective enchantments are too powerful. We'll need help."

"Help? From Nero?"

"No. We need to head south. We'll need to detour around the Emerald City, or sneak through it, and then we need to head farther South, into Quadling Country. We need to find a way to wake Glinda."

You look at the rest of your companions for guidance. "Can we trust them?" you ask earnestly.

"More than we can trust the Whizzer at the moment," says Oscar. Dirk nods in agreement. Michael pauses before responding.

"If the children wish to wake Glinda," he says finally, "we should do it, though I haven't a clue how we'll manage it."

Shortly everyone is in agreement. You're heading South.

<A QUEST HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR LOGBOOK>

> You take some time now to ponder your inventory, location & some thoughts.
> Look in inventory & scroll through. You have:
Empty oilcan
Handbag containing rancid butter
Handheld games consol with internet access
Crowbar with corrupt emerald
Magnifying glass
Tape measure
Silver powder compact with mirror, powder & pad.
Newspaper
Tripod
Canvas cloth with target with fishing line attached to corners
Red lipstick.

According to what the children told you, you should be located at the top of Mount Ixnay where the frozen wastes meet the impassable deserts & it should be very,very cold here but strangely it's not.

This leads you to mull over the sequence of events up until now & to ask yourself a lot of questions.

You are now very suspicious of the children. Originally they also told you that Beambar was a lovely giant who has 'all sorts of wonderful stories' & that they'd 'been there' lots of times yet he didn't appear to recognise them & he hasn't told any wonderful stories.

You thought that Mia was the only one with powers but it is now apparent that Mal has some tricks of his own.

Also the children seem to have more than a healthy interest in the silver slippers.

Nero Beambar is reported on the internet as being the scourge of Gillikan Country for 2000 years. But he's not a giant & was obvioulsy just sick. The Whizzer must have known that. Was the internet info planted?. And why did the Whizzer send you on a quest to subdue him when he just needed to be cured? Was it so that you would 'meet' the children on route?

Who did the Whizzer replace & does the Whizzer really want the slippers? You now suspect that you & your friends are being manipulated by lies from the Whizzer and/or the children. Are they in cahoots with each other? Where do you & your friends fit in?

You have no choice other than to go along with the general consensus of opinion. So, how do we get South?

> Ask Beambar if you are on top of Mount Ixnay. "Yes", he says. You ask him to lead you to point where you can see the surrounding lands. He leads you all along a path behind his Mansion up to the centre of a grassy motte surrounded by a few stones, the only remaining ruins of the castle that once stood there.

> From there you can see the surrounding lands.

> Use tripod on ground.
> Roll newspaper & use on tripod.
> Use magnifying glass on newspaper. You now have telescope.
> Look through telescope. Keep clicking left. You see sand, sand then more sand, then ice, ice & more ice. Aah. What was that?
Click back right until you see a red streak between the sand & the ice.
Focus on it by tightening up the roll on the newspaper. It's the scarlet brick road.

> Dismantle 'telescope' to get magnifying glass, newspaper & tripod.

> Fold newspaper origami style to get paper plane & place on hotspot on ground.

> Dip canvas cloth with fishing line attached to each corner in handbag to cover it in rancid butter.

> Combine this with crowbar & emerald to wrap & tie up tightly the emerald.

> Give to Mia & ask her to perform the same spell on the paper plane that she did on Beambar earlier to cure his affliction.

Wow! It worked! The greasy cloth focused the corruptness of the emerald onto the paper plane which is now enormous. The troupe of 9 climb onto the plane & glide down from the top of Mount Ixnay to the scarlet brick road. From here they should be able to meet the yellow brick road to either circumvent the Emerald City or sneak through it to find the path south.

>

A gust of wind blows the plane out of balance and you all fall down! Is this the end......?

Luckily you fall on a haystack! This is great, you have survived!
Unfortunately you managed to find the needle in it. You ask Oscar to remove it. "Just bend over and I'll give it a try." and he yanks it out. You now have a needle.

>climb down haystack

Back on the ground you look around. The plane can't be seen any more, to the west you see a glimpse of scarlet. "Yes, the scarlet road!".

>west

That's strange, the road is much smaller than you remembered. There's a sign that says "O'Hara Street". Maybe this is a side street of Scarlet Road.
You can only go one way from here because sewer rats dug a big hole in the street.

>follow street

And we're walking again, the weather is pretty good and so is your mood. You start to sing a song but the dirty looks your companions give you make you stop.
You see a hole in the ground and a mailbox next to it.

>open mailbox

In the mailbox is a letter, addressed to Harry O'Hare, O'Hara street. You leave the letter in the mailbox. The head of a hare pops up out of the hole. He looks at you with suspicion and asks what you're up to. You take the letter from the mailbox and give it to him. "I found this on the ground and I thought it might be yours." The hare opens this letter and reads it. "Well, that's good news, my old uncle Bugs died and I'm his heir! Uncle Bugs had a lot of bucks."

>talk to bunny

You ask Harry about a route to the south.
"The south you say, that's not very hard. Look up, do you see those geese fly? They are retired and once they are, all the old geesers go south. You can follow them."

>


Bernard

"South?" you ask. "That would take us a little too close to the Emerald City. Any chance of heading a little West or East along the way?"

"Well..." replies Harry before pointing at a particularly odd looking goose. "You could try following Perry there. He's a little funny in the head, and he's bound to fly a bit off course from time to time."

"Ah. Great." Somehow you're less and less sure of this plan the more you hear about it. There's not much time to think though, before the entire flock of geese flutters down onto the road, pack together into a vaguely v-shaped formation, and start waddling slowly south along the scarlet road, Perry wandering a little drunkenly behind.

"They're not flying," you point out a little obtusely.

"Well of course not," says Harry. "I did say they were retired. They'll just follow the road, maybe have a picnic along the way. The road goes South."

"Wonderful. I don't suppose the road branches anywhere along the way?"

"O' course it does," nods Harry. "A couple of times. But you know what they say...all roads lead to the--"

"--Emerald City." You cut him off. "Yeah, I got that." Scratching your head, you gather your followers and start following the geese South.

You've walked for a few hours before your group starts getting a little footsore. Just as you're about to call a halt, the geese ahead of you pull into a small grove near a lake and start settling down for a rest. Ahead of you is a dark forest, the scarlet road continuing on its mindless way through the trees.

"It's still a few days before we're in sight of the City," Dirk reassures you. "We've got some time to work out a plan before we get there. I'm a little more concerned about those trees up ahead."

"Oh?" you ask. "Are they sentient apple trees with a very strict definition of personal property?"

"Well, yes," admits Dirk, "but it's not really the trees I'm concerned by. It's those birds roosting in them" You follow the direction of Dirk's nod and notice a strange cluster of dark shapes filling the trees. The more you look at them the odder they seem, a bit like large ravens with enormous eyes. Their wings are large and angular, their beaks sharp and curved. You get the impression you wouldn't want to take one on in a fair fight.

"What are they?" you ask.

"They're the Peepers," replies Dirk. "They're the Whizzer's eyes and ears, and they're watching the roads."

"Ears? I don't see any ears."

"Trust me," says Dirk, "they have good hearing. That's not the point though."

"Can they see us from here?"

"Probably not," says Dirk. "They have excellent vision, but it's very specific. If one of them happens to look this way, they'll see us, but they're a lot more intent on the road up ahead. The question is what we do now.

If we head through the forest, the Whizzer will know we're coming. Or we could chance leaving the road and probably getting lost, in which case the Whizzer will likely figure out we're avoiding his eye. Besides, there are lots worse things than Peepers out there in the wilderness."

Just as he finishes, the geese stand up and start heading toward the forest--all but Perry, who waddles off to the East. You're not sure where he's going, but at least he seems to be avoiding the forest. For now.

> Follow Perry East.

The narrow scarlet brick path twists & turns, high grassy banks gradually start to flank each side obscuring the view of the land beyond.

All of a sudden the path slopes down & your company find yourselves in a small clearing at the edge of a river.

You see Perry ahead, swimming across. You can just make out a wooden arch on the opposite bank.
"Swimming across seems to be our only option" you say. Dirk, Beambar, Mia, Cassie & Mal agree & then you turn to see the terrified faces of Michael, Lord O'Scars & Pepe Le Pew all shaking their heads. Aah, you need to find another way of getting them to the other side of the river.

Look around. there are a couple of tall trees by the water's edge & you spot, leaning against one of them, a large green garden refuse bag crammed full of dead leaves.

> Take bag.
> Empty bag of leaves onto ground. Hear something heavier drop.
> Rummage through leaves & find a pouch full of gold coins.

> Dismantle small canvas cloth with fishing-line attached to get small canvas cloth & 4 lengths of fishing line.

> Combine 3 lengths of the line to get one long fishing line.
> Use this on the tree nearest the water edge. One end is now attached to the highest branch you can reach.

> Swim across the river to the opposite bank & toss the other end of the fishing line over the arch & secure with a knot. You notice a gold plaque on the arch. 'Remains of bridge'.

> Swim back.
> Use remaining length of fishing line on long fishing line now stretched across the river.
> Use green refuse bag on length of fishing line to get 'plastic seat'.

"Here's the plan" you say & you start to explain........

CUT SCENE:

Michael goes first on the 'hoist' & Pepe Le Pew climbs onto his shoulders (Michael is quite relieved at this point that his nose snapped off earlier). Pepe Le Pew acts as the pulley, he hold the line above & pulls Michael & himself across the river. Pepe takes the 'hoist' back & pulls Lord O'Scars across the same way (you lend him the piece of canvas cloth to wrap over his nose).

Meanwhile Dirk, Beambar, yourself & the children swim across.
You are now on the opposite bank.
END OF CUT SCENE

Perry has now disappeared out of sight so you follow the dusty track ahead of you. You start to hear the sound of laughing & music which gets louder & louder.

As you turn a bend you see a tavern to the side of the path 'The Duck's Head'. Outside there are several immaculately polished Harley Davidson's, some with sidecars attached. The music from inside the tavern is now almost deafening but there is the sound of much merriment.

> Enter the tavern. All of a sudden everything goes quiet as the occupants turn to eye you all suspiciously, & wonder why some of you are dripping wet. You see several dwarves clad in black leather & motorcycling boots. Behind the bar is the most beautiful lady you have ever seen who is just handing over a pint of beer to Perry.

>

Order beer.

“Fair lady, a round for everyone,” you say, tossing the pouch of gold coins on the bar. The dwarves now eye you with a glint in their eyes.

“Rhett!” says the beautiful blonde behind the bar. “Security!”

A very respectable-looking grey-haired gentleman in a dark suit approaches you. He bows politely. “May I see identification, sir-ma'am?” he says. “Drinking age is 21.”

You and your companions exchange an anguished look. How can someone who is ageless prove that s/he is old enough to drink? Not to mention the children you have with you.

>Order lemonade.

Pshaw.

>Order coke.

Don’t recognize coke.

>Order Dr. Pepper.

Gesundheit.

>Order Shirley Temples.

You ask for a round of Shirley Temples. “Perfectly acceptable,” says Rhett as the gorgeous blonde begins pouring out slightly fizzy pink drinks. You hear a groan from across the room.

“Um, make that beer for the dwarves,” you say.

“Certainly,” says Rhett. “Rosie -- beer for the band members, please.”

“And a beer for yourself, Rhett,” you say.

“Why thank you sir-ma'am, but I don’t imbibe,” says Rhett, bowing again.

>Talk to drinking band of dwarves.

“We are a weary band of travelers,” you say, “seeking a way around the Emerald City. Can you help us?”

The dwarf sitting closest to you toasts you with his foamy mug of beer and answers: “We are Full Metal Throttle,” he says. “We know all the highways and byways. We are on our way to a command performance for Mordack, Evil Genius Behind-The-Scenes Wizard.”

“Confidentially,” you say, lowering your voice, “we’re looking for someone named Glinda.”

“Ah, Glinda, as deep and terrifying as the sea. All who look on her love her and despair,” says the dwarf.

This sounds like more than you bargained for. “Could there perhaps be another Glinda somewhere?” you ask tentatively.

“Only one Glinda I know, says the dwarf, swigging more beer and smacking his lips. “I remember well the time we performed for her in ’03,” he says. “Only half the band survived the performance.”

“What happened to the other half?”

“The woman can’t abide dissonance,” says the dwarf. “If she thinks you’re singing off-key she burns you to a crisp with one glance of her eyes. It had a sad affect on our repertoire, I can tell you. We ended up singing nothing but commercial jingles and pop songs.” You see tears welling up in his eyes at the memory.

>

REM I'll take a few days off from this thread.


Bernard

REM -- Bernard, did my wild ramblings on this last post discourage you?

REM Ended

REM No Becky, that's not it.


Bernard

REM Whew! Thanks! :Grin:

REM Please come back soon Bernard! Hi Becky, good to see you back! END REM

> "I'm sorry" you say sympathetically "losing your band members must have been a painful experience".

On hearing you the dwarf suddenly comes-to from his reminiscence & perkily says "Oh, no that wasn't a problem. They didn't suffer & we were glad to get rid of them. They were all winners in a talent competition to join Full Metal Throttle as a Barbershop Septet to provide us with some harmonious backing vocals. Unfortunately, all the judges were suffering from an ear infection at the time & chose the winners based purely on their handsome looks. As it turned out not one of them could sing in key."

The dwarf continues "We tried very hard to please Glinda but quite frankly, it was very demoralizing for a band of our musical artistry & expertize to resort to playing over & over again renditions of..."

The dwarf begins to look tearful again "...of 'Is this the way to the weeping willow', 'Okey dokey, chicken cokey', Coconut conga' etc. Even worse, she wanted encores of the commercial jingles. If I have to sing ever again 'For hands that do dishes to be as soft as your tum. Use pea green washing-up liquid' or 'To get your teeth whiter than white. Use Dental Brite, use Dental Brite' I'm going to pack it all in & go back to mining."

"What music do you like to play?" you ask. The dwarf brightens up again & says "Why don't you come along to our Command Performance & see for yourself. Ride with us as our guests & if you would be good enough to cheer us on we will give you a lift down to Glinda's afterwards."

"Thank you, we'd love to" you say "but we don't want to put you to any trouble"

"No trouble at all" the dwarf says "we just need to go back over the river, follow the path South through the dark forest & go West for a few miles to get to our gig. Glinda's territory is only a few miles South from there."

You are now very worried & a little puzzled "Through the dark forest? it's not safe for my friends & myself to go that way as we will be spotted by the Whizzer's Peepers. Also how are you going to be able to cross the river?"

The dwarf smiles "Aah, the Peepers. Don't worry about them. We have enough spare crash helmets & Full Metal Throttle jackets to disguise all of you. You just need to ask your friend to remove the orange gloves & feather boa. As for crossing the river, you will see!" At that the dwarf chuckles mischieviously.

You accept the kind offer & hope that all your companions are happy with the arrangements. Luckily, they are over the moon about being the dwarves's special guests. Michael gives you his orange gloves & feather boa.

The dwarves are now itching to get on the road, you all say goodbye to Rhett & Rosie, Dirk kisses Rosie's hand & promises he will be back (what a charmer!). You all don the crash helmets & jackets you have been given.

Go outside. You, Dirk & Beambar each take a seat on separate bikes behind the biker's seat. The children all fit into one side-car, Michael & Lord O'Scars sit next to each other in another & Pepe le Pew gets one to himself (no-one wants to sit next to him).

The dwarves climb on & 'taxi' the bikes in the direction of the river, turn the bend & stop. One of them jumps off & walks forward to the plaque 'Remains of bridge' on the arch & thumps it.

When you hear the groaning of mechanism you feel very relieved, as at this point you are sure that it is the sign of a bridge being activated. Your relief slowly turns to horror & then to terror as you see a steep ramp slowly rising up out of the ground at the water's edge.

From the air comes some music 'Da, da da da daah, da, da da da daah! & a mysterious voice from nowhere says "Full. Metal. Throttle. Are.... GO!"
"Oh,no" you think "they cannot be serious! We've got to get off of these bikes, this is madness."

TOO LATE! The dwarves all start to rev up their bikes & one-by-one speed towards the ramp then up & over the river. (Oh, pleeease! Hang on tight! Are we going to make it? Wheeeeee, Oooooooh, Aaaaaaaaaargh!)

A few minutes later all of the bikes have cleared the river & landed safely on the other side. The dwarves, all now howling with laughter at you & your companions pale fear-stricken faces, steer the bikes back to the main scarlet brick road, turn South, speed through the dark forest without incident to emerge into the open air again & turn to follow the road to the West.

>

As your bike takes the next corner, however, the front wheel gives a disconcerting wobble. The dwarf grunts and tries to wrestle the contraption back into order, but suddenly a nut spins off its bolt onto the ground, the wheel dislodges entirely and the front end of the bike drops into the dirt, flipping you and the dwarf into a conveniently placed haystack and sending the front wheel spinning downhill into a tree.

"Oh blast!" groans the dwarf, as your companions pull up alongside you and check to make sure no one was injured. "That's the third time this week!" He looks around for a bit and, shrugging, stands, dusts himself off and huffs downhill towards the misbehaving wheel.

"You guys see if you can find the nut that came off," he shouts back at you, "we'll need it to get back up and running again."

>Look for nut

You and your companions start scouring the ground for the missing bolt, finally turning it up just as the dwarf comes puffing back up the hill, wheel in hand. He takes the bolt from you and pokes his hand back towards a rucksack hanging over the back of his bike.

"Could you check my bag for me?" he says. "I'm going to need some sort of wrench to get this on good and tight."

>open rucksack

You reach into the rucksack and take from it a Latin-English dictionary, a stale croissant, a clay jug full of water, and a rusty wrench.

>give wrench to dwarf

You hand the wrench to the dwarf, who looks it over for a split second before handing it back. "Nope, it's the wrong size. I need something adjustable."

>Adjustable?

"Yeah," says the dwarf, "you know. Like a spanner, or...something."

>No. Absolutely not.

The dwarf looks offended. "You're refusing to help?"

>No, sorry, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to this idiot text parser.

I don't understand "this idiot text parser."

> Oh, come off it. You've been carrying on perfectly coherent dialogues for pages now. Stop playing dumb.

Fine then. So what's your problem now?

> I'm not doing this. The whole idea is utterly preposterous, and I won't stand for it.

You have a better idea?

>...

...

>Combine oil can with magnifying glass.

Now you're being silly.

>COMBINE OIL CAN WITH MAGNIFYING GLASS.

You place the handle of the magnifying glass in the nozzle of the oil can, creating a thingamabob.

>Combine tape measure with thingamabob.

You've successfully created a whatchamacallit.

>Combine whatchamacallit with lipstick

You have created an elaborate doohickey.

>Give doohickey to dwarf.

The dwarf takes the doohickey and points it his wheel, instantly repairing it. "Hey," he says, "this is pretty useful! With this we can get you to Glinda's in no time!"

>What, really?

No.

>...

It's an oil can with a magnifying glass sticking out one side, a tape measure wrapped around it and a stick of lipstick lying on top. What exactly were you expecting?

>...

Having second thoughts?

>Take apart doohickey.

You disassemble the doohickey into its component parts.

>Combine croissant with wrench.

You have created a croissant wrench! How clever!

>Oh, shut up. That's not even spelled right.

It's crescent-shaped though. It still counts.

>Club smart-mouthed text parser in the head with croissant wrench.

Now that's not very nice.

>Do it anyway.

You hand the croissant wrench to the dwarf.

>No I don't

Yes you do.

>Fine. Hand croissant wrench to dwarf.

The dwarf gets to work, and in an instant you're ready to go again.

"Keep that stuff from the rucksack," he says. "I won't be needing it."

"You sure?" you ask hesitantly.

"I'm sure. When was the last time you saw a dwarf drinking water?" You nod softly and add the jar of water and the Latin dictionary to your inventory.

"Point taken."

Move on down the road.

You and your (now numerous) gang roar down the road until you reach an ominous structure that looks like a skull that has been shaped from the rocky hillside. There’s a crooked sign out front that says: “Humble Residence of the Evil Genius Mordack (At Work Behind-the-Scenes).

>Enter Humble Residence

You notice that the skull’s giant teeth block your path. Next to the teeth is a gold, square button with a note below it: “Say Light and Enter.”

>Push button.

A cauldron of boiling oil pours down from the left eye of the skull. Fortunately, Lord O’Scars is the only one under it. “At last, my hot oil tin skin treatment!” says Lord O’Scars.

>Say Light.

Quotation marks, please.

>Say “Light.”

Use the ancient tongue.

You wonder if this means ancient D’ni, Elvish or Latin.

>Refer to Latin Dictionary.

“Lux,” you say.

The teeth slowly rise, revealing a long bridge that looks as though it might once have been a tongue, now patched in various places with rough asphalt. This leads to an open door, from whence come the sounds of chanting. A brilliant light makes everything inside the door difficult to make out. You proceed to the door and notice a trash can next to it, with something that looks like a device with an emerald on it tossed casually in the trash.

>_

Is the "common theme" here "do your own thing" maybe?

Hi sierramindy, we try to be a little consistent & remember what's happened before & what inventory has been picked up along the way & follow on from the post before, but to continue the story, yes! just do your own thing! Ooh! please join in!

Sorry, but all I can think of is the obvious:
Take device
OK
Examine device

And that's all I can think of to do. I usually hope at this point that the game will tell me something useful about the object. My imagination doesn't run to this type of scenario. I like opinions, not actions!