OR something like that.
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At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judgement.
Benjamin Franklin
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A Priest meets his friend, the Rabbi, and says to him, "You have taught me many things but there is one thing in particular I want to learn very much but you do not wish to teach it to me. I want you to teach me the Talmud."
The Rabbi replied: "You are a Non-Jew and you have the brain of a Non-Jew. There is no chance that you will succeed in understanding the Talmud."
But the Priest continued in his attempt to persuade the Rabbi to teach him the Talmud.
Finally, the Rabbi agreed. The Rabbi then said to the Priest: "I agree to teach you the Talmud on condition that you answer one question."
The Priest agreed and asked the Rabbi, "What is the question?"
The Rabbi then said to the Priest: "Two men fall down through the chimney; one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean. Who of those two goes to wash up?"
"Very simple," replied the Priest. "The one who is dirty goes to wash up but the one who is clean does not go to wash up."
The Rabbi then said to the Priest: "I told you that you will not succeed in understanding the Talmud. The exact opposite happened. The clean one looks at the dirty one and thinks that he is also dirty, goes to wash up. The dirty one, on the other hand, looks at the clean one and thinks that he is also clean and, therefore, does not go to wash up."
The Priest then says to the Rabbi: "This I did not think of. Ask me, please, another question."
The Rabbi then said to the Priest: "Two men fall down through the chimney; one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean. Who of those two goes to wash up?"
The Priest then says to the Rabbi: "Very simple. The clean one looks at the dirty one and thinks he is also dirty and goes to wash up. The dirty one on the other hand, looks at the clean one and thinks that he is also clean and, therefore, does not go to wash up."
The Rabbi then says to the Priest: "You are wrong again.
I told you that you will not understand. The clean one looks into the mirror, sees that he is clean and, therefore, does not go to wash up. The dirty one looks into the mirror, sees that he is dirty and goes to wash up."
The Priest complains to the Rabbi, "But you did not tell me that there is a mirror there."
The Rabbi then tells the Priest: "I told you. You are a Non-Jew; with your brain you will not succeed in understanding the Talmud. According to the Talmud, you have to think of all the possibilities."
"All right," groaning, said the Priest to the Rabbi. "Let us try once more. Ask me one more question."
For the last time, the Rabbi then said to the Priest: "Two men fall down through the chimney; one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean. Who of those two goes to wash up?"
"That is very simple!" replied the Priest. "If there is no mirror there the clean one will look at the dirty one and will think that he is also dirty and will, therefore, go to wash up. The dirty one will look at the clean one and will think that he is also clean, and will, therefore, not go to wash up. If there is a mirror there, the clean one will look into the mirror and will, therefore, not go to wash up. The dirty one will look into the mirror and will see that he is dirty and will, therefore, go to wash up.
The Rabbi then says to the Priest: "I told you that you would not succeed in understanding. You are a Non-Jew; you have a Non-Jew brain. Tell me, how is it possible for two men to fall through a chimney and for one to come out dirty and the other to come out clean?"
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One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted, demanding, "Why do we have to learn all this stuff?"
"To save lives," the professor responded quickly, and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So, how exactly does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the idiots out of medical school," replied the professor.
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Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
Wet and wild? I must have met the wrong hurricane.
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Redneck alarm system
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
P.S. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
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The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner."
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Good morning everyboomie.
Howdy....
It's nice to have a weekend off, but it's so hot I don't know what I'll be doing besides braving the heat long enough to mow the lawn, and then rushing back inside and plopping down under the air with a popsickle in each hand.
I guess I do know what I'll be doing.
I can barely walk on my feet anyway, and crawling never agreed with me.
Gotta get back home though right now. It's getting late. If I'm not back at my place by 9:30 I turn into a tumble weed.
Have a super duper Saturday everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
To all awake, 
Darlene and Haroula enjoy your company!Ana how is Merlin doing?Coffee is on for who ever wants a cup!!Have a happy day all 
I spoke quite sternly to it, but it obdurantly just sat there. Silly vacuum.
I wouldn't even want to think of it. 
Oh and that took out my power too. 
Nan we had a great park run.