I Love This Doctor
#1060706
03/26/16 04:09 PM
03/26/16 04:09 PM
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
Barry
OP
Addicted Boomer
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OP
Addicted Boomer
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
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I love this Doctor -
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO ..Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION.....
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you...
I've seen God, and his name is iPad. Let us pray
yes, I do use my Hairbrush as a Microphone and Dance around in my Underwear. Thank you very much.
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Re: I Love This Doctor
[Re: Barry]
#1060708
03/26/16 04:13 PM
03/26/16 04:13 PM
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 20,854
Chicago
oldbroad
True Blue Boomer
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True Blue Boomer
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 20,854
Chicago
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Re: I Love This Doctor
[Re: Barry]
#1060738
03/26/16 10:16 PM
03/26/16 10:16 PM
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,940
Lincoln, NE
GuybrushThreepwood
Addicted Boomer
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Addicted Boomer
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,940
Lincoln, NE
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About chocolate, somebody posted a chart on Facebook proving that dark chocolate is better for you than lettuce. So dark chocolate should replace lettuce on salad bars.
Currently Playing:
Adventure Game: Broken Age
Darkside: Star Wars: The Old Republic
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Re: I Love This Doctor
[Re: Barry]
#1060756
03/27/16 02:25 AM
03/27/16 02:25 AM
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
Barry
OP
Addicted Boomer
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OP
Addicted Boomer
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
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Sounds good to me Guybrush. I love dark chocolate.
I've seen God, and his name is iPad. Let us pray
yes, I do use my Hairbrush as a Microphone and Dance around in my Underwear. Thank you very much.
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acebook
witter
