WILL ROGERS
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
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Headlines around America
• County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds (Register-Guard, Eugene, Oregon)
• 4-H Training Scheduled for Shooting Instructors (Pine City Pioneer, Minnesota)
• Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances (Winchester Star, Virginia)
• Police: DUI Charge for Woman Celebrating End of Earlier DUI
Suspension (Chicago Tribune)
• Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons (Tulsa World, Oklahoma)
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That Reminds Me of a Joke (Counterfeit Edition)
Here’s the news: A Rhode Island man was arrested for passing a counterfeit $100 bill. What gave him away? Lincoln’s face: It’s supposed to be on the $5 bill.
Source: Sun Chronicle (Attleboro, Massachusetts)
Here’s the laugh: A counterfeiter drives to a small town, enters a store, and hands the rube behind the counter an $18 bill. “Mind making change?” he asks.
“Sure,” says the clerk. “Ya want two nines or three sixes?”
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That Weekend is Killer…
Headline from the Times Herald-Record (Newburgh, New York): West Point Cadets Train for Life in Iraq with Weekend in N.J.
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Woman with Arms Held
—Source: Times of India
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Wisconsin Woman Takes Husband to Police for “Talking Stupidly”
—Source: La Crosse (Wisconsin) Tribune
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Warehouse Worker Packing Stress Balls Punched His Boss in Face
—Source: Mirror
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Vladimir Putin Hires Boyz II Men to Boost the Russian Birth Rate
—Source: Daily Mail
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Torrington Police Search for Jesus
—Source: Hartford Courant
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Suspected Beer Thief Leaves Liquid Trail
—Source: Charleston Daily Mail
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Stylish but Illegal Monkey Found Roaming Toronto IKEA
—Source: The Globe and Mail
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Study: Rich More Likely to Take Candy from Babies
Source: Washington Post
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Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25
—Source: New York Post
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Spay/Neuter Clinic for Low-Income Residents
—Source: (Lewiston, Maine) Sun Journal
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Sun Is Too Round, Say Scientists
—Source: The Independent
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Self-Proclaimed Invisible Man No-Show at Court Hearing
—Source: The Daily Herald (Provo, Utah)
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Red Cross in Search of Donors with Low Blood Supply
—Source: Sandusky Register
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Puerto Rican Teen Named Mistress of the Universe
—Source: Associated Press
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Police Charge One-Armed Man with Unarmed Robbery
—Source: Masslive.com
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Police Arrest Naked Man with Concealed Weapon
—Source: MSNBC.com; contributed by Linda Fabbri, Corbin, KY
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Pair Banned from All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant for Eating Too Much
—Source: Telegraph
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Good morning everyboomie.

Welcome to the weekend!

I hope it's going to be a great one for everyone.

I get to work the weekend, but that's okie dokie. I'm off for the next four days after that.

I need a couple of days escape from a certain little sweet doggie that is driving me nuts.

She wants out, she wants in, she wants out, wants in, out in out in out in.

When she sees me putting my shoes on, she really starts tripping out, doing back flips, climbing the wall, running across the ceiling, and riding the ceiling fan.

It really bums her out when she finds out I'm only going out to check the mail.

Have a happy day everyone.
joe