“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food, I don’t even know where Sandwiches live.”
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~Bill Murray~
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I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
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YOU DID WHAT?!
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Cookies. I made cookies for you.
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Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.
One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”
The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
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The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
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“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
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“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
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Poof once more – and he’s 90 years old.
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A boy is sitting on a bus and eating one piece of chocolate after the other. A man sits down next to him and says: “Eating so much chocolate is not healthy for you boy.”
The boy replies: “My grandfather died when he was 112 years old.”
The man asks: “You think he became so old because he was eating lots of chocolate?”
The boy answers: “He became so old because he minded his own business.”
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Funny, those road signs: "Caution - Watch for children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
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A guy walks into a bar and says urgently to the bartender, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" He drinks his beer and orders another, again saying, "Give me a beer before trouble starts!" The bartender is confused but lets it go for another two beers, when he finally asks, "Hey man, when are you gonna pay for those beers?" The guy answers, "And now the trouble starts!
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Three guys are flying over a desert in a hot air balloon. They see a man below and yell at him, “Do you know where we are?”
The man thinks about it for a long time and when they’re nearly out of earshot, yells after them, “You’re in a balloon.”
“That was a mathematician,” says one of the aviators. “Why?” asks another. „Because it took him a hell of a long time, the answer is perfectly correct and yet its practical value is zero.”
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A priest falls into water and soon starts to drown. But his faith in God is strong and he knows God will save him.
A small boat rows to him and offers help. “No! God will help me, thank you!” gasps the priest and continues drowning.
A second, bigger boat comes by soon and tries to get the man out of the water. “No!” fights the priest. “God alone will save me!” The boat leaves and the priest finally drowns.
In heaven, he feels quite betrayed and goes to ask God about it.
“Well, you moron,” thunders the Lord, “and who do you think sent all those ships?!”
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"Granny, why do you read obituaries every day?
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Don't worry grandson. I just want to see who is single again.
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A drunk guy stumbles into a bar and says, „Those to my left you are all jerks. Those to my right, you are all idiots!“
A tall, muscular guy slowly stands up, puts on his cowboy hat and quietly says to the guy, “Well, I don’t think I’m an idiot at all.”
“Alright,” agrees the guy, “you can go on the left.”
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A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories. But I don’t care. I never eat the glass anyway.
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I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic.
There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!"
I quickly cut the rope and revived her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life.
As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "Come on, that's not how you spell criticism."
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Magnificent Sunday morning everyboomie.
I think it's going to be a spectacular day for one and all.
My Sunday similar to what my Saturday was.......about 24 hours.
Really my only plan is to take the doggies parking, and then practice being lethargic for the rest.
Been playing Aura Fate of the Ages, Syberia, Beyond Atlantis, Myst Exile...and other games.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
And tomorrow, I have a voice lesson. 
Good morning Joe Ana Venus Gerry Connie L4L and the rest of the Diner gang when you get the chance to pop in for a rest
