“Alas! How dreary would be the world if there was no Santa Claus! There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.” — Francis P. Church

“You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I’m telling you why—Santa Claus is coming to town.” — Haven Gillespie

“Whenever anyone was unselfish, that was Santa Claus. Christmas Eve was the time when everybody was unselfish. On that one night, Santa Claus was everywhere, because everybody, all together, stopped being selfish and wanted other people to be happy. And in the morning you saw what that had done.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder
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1. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph.

2. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

Stick with me and we’ll go places!

3. How is Christmas exactly like your job?

You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

4.Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

Because they were two deer!

5. What do you call a scary looking reindeer?

A cari-boo.

6. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?

The One Show!

7. What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?

This one’s gonna sleigh you!

8. What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

9. Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital?

Because he has private elf care!

10. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es

11. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

Their days are numbered!

12. How do you know when Santa’s around?

You can always sense his presents.

13. How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

14. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?

Elfis.

15. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?

Cross-mouse cards!

16. Where does Santa keep all his money?

At the local snow bank.

17. What do you call a broke Santa?

Saint Nickel-less

18. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

19. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

20. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?

Because they’re shell-fish.

21. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?

Twerky!

22. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?

Silent Night.

23. What does Santa do with out of shape elves?

Sends them to an elf Farm.

24. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

25. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

26. How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle!

27. What do you call Santa when he takes a break?

Santa Pause.

28. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?

He gives them the sack!

29. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsil-itis!

30. What did Santa say to the smoker?

Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
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Hello everybody.


Well it's official. My brain is no longer in sync with the calendar. I actually thought yesterday was Sunday.


I should have known something was amiss when there were no football games on.


I needed a long weekend break from my hectic do-nothing routine anyway.


I have been exercising/working/walking very heavily this week though.


That's because I've been eating mass quantities and gaining.............mass.


Wishing everyone very happy and safe holidays, with families and loved ones.


I'm guessing your families and loved ones are most likely all the same.


Ana that 's great news about Nugget. I hope you get a few days rest this week to enjoy your family.


joe

Good Morning and everyone

Son is in the kitchen teaching g'son to cook. They are making beet salad with blue cheese right now and will make soup later. It's fun to listen too, but the deal was, I'd do the dishes. They are using every dish in the kitchen

It's supposed to be in the 60 later so will get my walk in then, though it will be short as I'm nursing a boo boo. And I have a project for hubby this afternoon, so need to be on hand for that.

Have a great one ya'll

Edit: Ana, so very glad the biopsies were negative

Joe, I can relate to brain vs calendar confusion. It caused me to start marking appts on my calendar, which I used to always pretty much rely on memory.
There was a day when I got up, got dressed for work and headed out with my dog to drop him off at the play day center. The center was closed which was weird; thought I missed a note saying they were closed for some reason. So I drove back home, dropped dog off and headed to work. Parking lot was empty. THEN I looked at my phone and realized it was Sunday, not Monday.
I have a close friend with whom I have do a regular check in call every week. Once when I asked how things were going, she replied that she wasn't even sure what day it was. I told her she was talking to me so it must be Thursday.

So, if your brain feels off whack, just join the crowd

same thing.

Good morning, enjoy Hump Day. Dinner and Karaoke tonight. L4L, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. We will have a cold Christmas, the coldest in 20 years. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Good morning everyone.

It is Wednesday is it not Butterflybabe? That's a very funny story btw.

I'm pretty sure it is.

Well we had 70 degrees here on Monday. This morning when I got up at 7:30 it was 60 degrees. That's pretty darned mild weather for Christmas, I must say, even for us.

We're actually only going to be a high of 63 degrees today despite being at 60 at sun up.

The wind is what is putting a damper on an otherwise glorious day. So I'll wear a jacket when I take Missy parking.

No other plans for me, except to exercise. Gotta keep moving.

A very Happy Birthday to you L4L. I hope you have a blessed day.

Mary it's always nice seeing you in the diner. We want to hear the news on your hubby's condition and how his treatment is going. Our hearts and prayers always here for you.

Have a super day everyone.


joe

Yes, Joe, I assure you it is Wednesday today. Glad you enjoyed the story.
Sometimes I don't realize how fast the days go until I get a reminder call from a doc's office to confirm the appt. I made weeks earlier.
Oh, well, if that's the only problem in my life, I'm doing good!

Just back from the park on a beautiful December day!

Connie, I'm heading to the corner to replenish. Cupcakes, here I come.

Thanks, Joe, it has been lovely.

same thing//

Good evening everyone

Joe, my brain dropped the sync with the calendar some time back ... I think it's because we've transitioned to "electronic" calendars and message/emails ... I memory doesn't work so good with them as it used to work with paper calendars ... I carry a paper calendar with me all the time

Mary ... it's always a treat to see you in the Diner and catch up with life ... keeping you, hubby and family in my thoughts and prayers

ButterFlyBabe ... I have a similar go to work story ... I just returned from an overseas trip on Saturday so relaxed and tried to catch up with time zones and then on Monday went to work only to find the building locked ... so milled around out front for 10 to 15 minutes thinking through tasks and projects and then decided to work on my 'paper' calendar next only to discover the day was a federal holiday

Connie, we'll have a cold Christmas too ... have fun at Karaoke tonight! I'm headed to the NC for cupcakes

Family, enjoy your shows
L4L

Have a quiet evening everyone

Merry Christmas Eve's Eve I'm exhausted and I'm planning on being a complete and utter slug on Christmas Day. We are busy preparing for the kids and their significant others come tomorrow afternoon for Christmas Round 2. Two parties in 5 days while working is a handful. I also have a boarder coming in the morning, she's a sheepdoodle.
I'm almost done wrapping and then it'll be bed time. Short work day tomorrow since everyone is coming at 2.

It'll be a high of 15 tomorrow with windchills at 0 but no white Christmas. Brrrr!

Have a blessed day all!
Ana

Good morning, enjoy your Christmas Eve. Round one of our Christmas gatherings today, repeat tomorrow. A freeze is predicted for tonight. It will actually feel like Christmas, last year it was 80. We will have the fireplace in the house and the fire pit on the porch going. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Good morning everyone ... we'll be having a quiet Christmas eve today ... last minute prep for the morrow... music, gardening and walking little Soot frequently



Wishing everyone a great day!

Soot

Well, it's a sunny, 17 degs on Christmas Eve in Chicagoland. Hope those of you spending time with family and friends have lots of fun and laughter

Tomorrow I'll probably spend most of the day playing games and/or watching Netflix. Actually have some laundry to do so, we'll see

Temps have been dropping all day. Supposed to be in the 20's tonight. I biked in the bedroom today...too much rain and cold for me outside.

G'kids are at moms, so we plan on a quiet Christmas. I'm heading up in a second to make our Christmas Casserole for breakfast in the morning. Then I have a few presents to wrap and I'm done. We are hoping to watch the new Wonder Woman tomorrow night.

Wishing you a very

Merry Christmas Eve everyboomie!

Had a very busy day so far here. I did cleaning all morning waiting for it to warm up. Missy hates the cold.

We were caught off guard after waking up to 60 degrees yesterday, it was 30 degrees when I got up this morning. When we went parking at 12:00 it was mid 40s, but pretty windy and boy did it bite!

After that I actually drove up to Walmart for some last minute shopping, and so did everybody else in town.

It was a mad house.

After that I went bye to visit my friends Charlsye and Beau.

Than came home and cooked a pizza.

I'm starting to look like that Santa....without the beard.

Have a great holiday everyone.


joe

Although I’m not a regular denizen of the diner, I wanted to drop in and wish all my Gameboomer friends who celebrate, a very MerryChristmas. 🎄 Peace be with you.

Same here, Sparkle! I read Joe's missives at the beginning of the week, but am not a regular denizen of the diner. But I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Sparkle. Stop in anytime

same thing and chores.

This looks like the right place to come and wish all of you not frequenters of the Garden happiness and/or over-indulgence whatever and however you may be celebrating!
Hopefully even those separated by covid restrictions can at least speak to or even video call with loved ones.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Good morning , may it be merry and bright. Day 2 of our family and friends get together. Yesterday was wonderful and I'm sure today will be too. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, French Toast, Toast, and Christmas Cookies for later in the NC.