Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.

"That's it! I can never remember that word!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sophie went to see a psychiatrist about her husband.

"Doctor, My husband has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!"

"My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..."

Sophie leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Jake sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stands in the draft.

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said his physician. "I can cure pneumonia."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A doctor and his wife are having a terrible fight at the breakfast table.

The doctor gets up in a rage and walks out yelling, "and you are not any good in bed either" as he storms out of the house.

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends.

He calls his wife and after at least a dozen rings she answers the phone.

Again irritated the doctor says "what took you so long to answer the phone"?

She says, "I was in bed". "In bed this late in the day, doing what"?

"I was getting a second opinion" she replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well.

The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?"

The Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The young mother was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I am going to give you a prescription for some tranquillizers that I want you to start taking
regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down any?"

"Oh, yes" the mother answered. "They do wonders for me."

"And how is your son now?" he asked.

She replied, "Who cares ..."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He must have given that woman "Darnitall".

Good morning everyboomie.

What day of the weekend is this?

For some of us the week never seems to end.

I think I need some "enditall".
At work it seems like they think I can "doitall."

They constantly page me, call me, wave at me.

I guess if I "refusitall" then they would "enditall" for me.

No good.

I'm still working on my financial independence.

It's a fifty year plan but, I've had about 30 restarts. Maybe more.

Actually I work on the principal of "You can't take it with you."

I have about a half million yet to spend before I die.

The unfortunate thing is that I have to earn it first.

Anybody have some "Darnitall"?

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

For you, Joe, I have Darnitall. Here you go. Early work schedule for me. See you on the flip side.

Midgie

Have a terrific day Joe, Midge and all who come in after me.

It's late Sunday night for me, and like Midge, I also have an early work day. Luckily, it's a short day, though, so I'm not too stressed out about it.

Okay, off to sleep. Have a fantastic day, everyone.

Thanks for the chuckles Joe! I hope today will be a great day for you.

Midgie, don't work too hard. I hope you get to relax a bit today also.

Venus, I hope work goes by quickly for you.

I think today will be a day of rest except for a hike with the dogs. Yesterday was awesome, my niece and I completed the 35 miles I planned out on the bike. It was 97 degrees but we had lots of water and did fine.

Then we met my sister and went to an art fair and then my hubby and BIL joined us for dinner at the bistro on the riverfront. Wonderful day!

Today is Peter's 23rd birthday, to my baby boy. I can't believe how time flies.

Our county forest preserve published one of my pictures again here.

Lovin life....

Have a happy day everyone and thank you Joe, Trippy, soot and all who have served our country.

Ana

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Monday Mourning is mahvelous! Here's some Darnitall for you, as well!

Hey, Midgie! May I invite you to join me in a glass of red in the evening?

Hi, venus! Here's to a short work day!

Hey, Ana! Glad to hear you have a day of rest! Much deserved! to your Peter! Woohoo and booyah!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! It's MakingthisdayamostfabulouslymahvelousMemorialDaycelebrationforallsweet'Boomies Monday Mourning!

Still Sunday evening for me...

I'm very excited! Discovered that my computer problems were due to a hinkey monitor. After much testing, Hubby decided it was time for a new one, sooooo.....I have a most beautiful, new 22-inch LED monitor and I'm ! Woohoo and booyah!

Now, it's been decided that Hubby and I, daughter, son, DIL, grandbabies, and two friends are doing a morning hike in our most beautiful foothills. Very cool! It will be lovely. Ana, you'd be proud!

So...

To all abed, sleep comfy, sleep cozy, sleep easy peasy! To all awake,

thank you for the openers ,joe.

hope everyone has a smooth and wonderful day today !

fresh cranberry -orange bread , some with ,and some without walnuts !

Good morning Joe,Midgie,Venus,Ana,Darlene,
niteow and all who come in after me.
Ana to your Peter
Have all a nice day

Good morningJoe,Ana,Niteowl,Darlene,Haroula,and all who follow To Peter!Coffee is on to go with Niteowls goodiesHave a great day everyone

Good morning. Thanks Darlene for the invite. Yes I'll join you tonight. Ana and to Peter. My baby is 41 this year. Where does the time go? Morning Venus. Don't work too hard today. Morning niteowl, Haroula, Sue, and all who come in after me. I hope you all have a great day today.

I have to tell you I watched 60 Minutes last night will I was at work and it was so hard to watch. They focussed on soldiers that showed incredible bravery for their fellow soldiers. I was in tears the whole show.

I have to get ready for work now. See you after work.

Midgie

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a good one!

Ana, Venus, Darlene, niteowl, Haroula, Cailyn, Midge and all who come to the Diner I'm wishing a wonderful day!


Peter.

Good morning everyone. Ana, to Peter. My baby is 42, WoW. Not sure what's on for today. It's supposed to be off and on stormy from Beryl. Looks pretty good at the moment, but that can change quickly. We do need the rain, just not the wind. To all here and all that follow, have Wonderful Monday. Nan, I hope you are OK. Danish and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good morning Boomer Buddies.

Another hot one today. Will be taking Cory in a little while before it gets too hot. We will be going over to Susie's for a barbeque this evening. She will be coming over to borrow my car for a few days while hers is in the shop. So I will be wheel-less for awhile.

Nothing else new here so will play something.

Oh yeah, I put some chocolate chip cookies in the NC. I made them the other day and I must say, they are melt in your mouth. Some of the best I ever fixed. Yum. Made them with Splenda Blends.

Have a most wonderful day today.

Bets

for the jokes Joe.

Good morning boomies! I am off to the park with the dogs and then going to the garden center to get some plants and finish my yard for the summer. After that it will be gaming for me!

Darlene, woohoo on your new monitor!

niteowl, are you still working on your art?

Haroula, have a great day!

Sue, is the campground packed?

Midgie, I hope your day is wonderful.

Gail, any plans for the day?

Connie, I hope that beryl doesn't cause any damage by you.

Bets, enjoy the BBQ!

SpaceQ, hope you have a great day.

Peter says thank you for all the BD wishes. He has to go to work but will come on later to thank you all personally.

Magnificent Monday ya'll

The sick fairy has found me. I've been madly dodging her for days but to no success. However, I already have a doctor's appointment scheduled on Thursday

The boys go home later today but sweet son switched a shift so he could stay home so I wouldn't have to watch the boys. That means he will do an open to close shift tomorrow to make up for it.

Soot will call this afternoon. He gets up early so we can chat before he goes to work.

Back later

Ah, home already. See, very short day. Now time to game.

Congratulations...again, Ana, that is a great shot. We have cormorants here but I think they are all black. Yuuum, nightowl, that bread is tasty!! So, last evening we were watching a Memorial Day tribute on PBS and it was in Washington DC. They suddenly began to evacuate everyone due to serious weather and ended up showing the taped remains of last years program. We checked the Weather Channel and news channels but heard nothing else about it. Anyone??? Have a lovely day and Happy Gaming!!

Appears to be a beautiful day. Finished cleaning in the elderly neighbors house this morning and now time for a bite of lunch.

Ana, sorry, forgot to wish Peter a Happy Birthday.
Also, great picture; thanks for sharing.

Time to grab a bite so have a great Monday all.

Home from our hike! Ended up being just Hubby, daughter, and me, and it was awesome. Just over 5 miles of foothills, up to a cold stream! Beautiful!

It's a lovely day. We'll barbecue...

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!

Darlene, well done! I bet it was a beautiful walk.

Trippy, glad your weather is better today. It's another 90+ degree day here but very windy.

Lotus, most of our cormorants are all black here also. I have other pics where they are black with an orange bill.
I haven't heard anything about a storm yesterday. Must have been bad to quit taping.

Venus, enjoy the rest of the day!

L4L, I hope you feel better. Do you think your new meds could be making you sick?

Hello everybuddy.

I've had a loong hot memorable Memorial Day, but I am sooo glad it's over. Gimme a "G" Gimme a "L" Gimme a "A" Gimme a "D". What's that spell? HOORAY!!!

I hope all of you had a good one.

I just picked up our trash box in the garage, to burn what's in it, and there was a big ol scorpion on the wall behind it.

He's nothing but a brown spot on the wall now.

I am so tard.

joe

See you all tomorrow Boomers.

Joe, glad you squished the scorpion.

Nan, how are you today? Did you get hit with the storms?

Night Haroula.

Had a wonderful day! Took the grandkids to the parade then we all had a cookout here. Beautiful weather today but sky starting to look stormy now.

Wishing everyone a great night.

Well I'm working on sneaking in before the next round of thunder boomers start. Man it has been one right after the other for the last few days. Last night I just made it home in time so I didn't get soaked. It stormed all night and poor Sassy was shaking all night. Today we had lots of hail that it looked like it was snowing out.

I am OK I was just running my taxi last night and had taken a friend to the ER. The one who had blood drawn and his whole arm and left chest and left back was really swollen and all purple.

They found that the artery in the arm must have been poked during the blood draw and has been bellding since Wed. Sooo the vascular surgeon was ging to go in and put a stitch in the hole and then try to drain some of that fluid out of the arm. He was resting quietly this morning.

Hope everybody has been having a lovely day!

Ana on the beautiful pic published again!!!

Gail bet the kids enjoyed the parade. I think ours got washed out.

Joe glad that the scorpion is history and work is over for the day! Have a relaxing evening.


Nan