If you can’t beat them, arrange
to have them beaten.
George Carlin
````````````````````````````
My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.”
“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”
“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”
````````````````````````
Which West is that?
“Why did you choose a college so far from home?” I asked my British student.
She explained that she’d fallen
in love with the American West by watching Westerns. So when it came time to apply for colleges, she Googled “Western universities.”
And that’s how she ended up here, at Western Carolina University.
````````````````````````
The Wrong Language
I tried to explain to a client why I couldn’t help him with a project that was written in a program code that I didn’t know.
“Let’s say you’re asking me to write something in a specific language. Now, I’m fluent in English and Spanish, but your project is in Chinese. Since
I don’t understand Chinese, I’m not your best option. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language. See?”
He said he did and thanked me.
The next morning, I got a call from another developer asking, “Why is
So-and-So asking us if we’re fluent
in Chinese?”
````````````````````````````
A Late Graduation
At the age of 55, I finally got
my bachelor’s degree and set out to
become a substitute teacher. One day, a seventh grader asked if I’d been teaching long.
“Actually, I’m brand-new,” I told him. “I just graduated.”
Looking me up and down, he asked, “How long were you in college?”
``````````````````````
An Army of None
We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that
fact. Anytime someone asked what his father did, he’d say, “He’s in the Army.” I told him umpteen times, “Stop telling people I’m in the Army!” It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form
for kindergarten, under “father’s
profession,” the teacher wrote, “He doesn’t know what his father does, but he’s not in the Army.”
`````````````````````
Winter Punderland
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
```````````````````
es That Come in Super-Size?
A friend was ordering her meal at a drive-through when she noticed she could get a side dish gratis.
“And I’ll take the free wiffie also,” she said.
“What?” asked the clerk.
“The free wiffie,” she said, pointing to the sign.
“Ma’am, that’s ‘Free Wi-Fi.’ ”
```````````````````````````
Let Minnow
My husband and I were relaxing on lounge chairs on a Jamaica beach, half listening to a couple walking
ankle deep in the clear water. The woman was extolling the beauty of the island when suddenly she let out a scream.
“Oh!” she shrieked. “There are fish in here!”
``````````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
IT'S FRIDAY!!
It is for me, cause I'm off tomorrow.
I started training my replacement today.
I hope I didn't scare him off already. I filled his head with horror stories I'm afraid.
I'm thinking of writing my memoirs now. I think I'll call it 'Seven Years a Slave'.
In 11 days I'll only be a part time slave.
Partially retired..................completely tired.
I hope you all have a happy day.
joe
acebook
witter
I wanted to stop by and wish everyone a 
I'll get the coffee going 
Have a great day all 
Now I just have three regular long workdays to go. 
Tomorrow we are suppose to be a recording breaking 70 degrees and today is the first full day of winter! 
I put on some fresh coffee and tea too. Wishing you all a wonderful day! 
Have an easy peasy day!
L4L
Not excited about semi-retiring at all, are you 
